New Beginnings

I'm officially back to Hope.  Groovin in the Grove is an annual Hope tradition, 2 hours of chapel band in the Pine Grove on the night before classes start.  2,000 classmates worshiping together.  Definitely on the top 5 best nights of the year.  The last three months have been ridiculous, even the last year.  I'm not going to say it's been an easy year, and I'm not going to whine either.  I've missed worship.  In Christ, this place is home.  In worshiping Him, we are at our best.  I sang the familiar melodies (and some new ones) surrounded by great friends, had some awesome reunions and got to praise my God.  In a summer and a year that has had some very high moments and a lot of low times of doubt and questioning, I'm reminded of the God who has me on this journey.  That His love never gives up, never runs out on me.  Sweet Jesus Christ my sanity, sweet Jesus Christ my clarity.  Bless the Lord oh my soul, worship His holy name, sing like never before oh my soul, I'll worship Your holy name.  This is my prayer for this one semester I have on campus this year, and then I'm off to China?  What?  There are great things in store for Hope's campus this year.  Oh yes, its good to be back.

(pirated from Sam)

The Past Few Weeks

So I've been home from Kenya for about 2 weeks now.  It feels like a lifetime since I was there.  I loved Kenya.  But I must say, I am so glad to be home.  I've had some really, really awesome time with the people I don't really get to see that often.  I love the moments (there have been many!) when I have to blink and go, wow, that person really is in the same room as me.  We really are sitting right here.  I am so blessed.
This past so weekend, one of my dearest friends got married.  Allie and I are neighbors, I have known her since I was eight years old.  I learned what makes faith real at her house, through the Pioneer Girls Club her mom ran, but really from the example she and the other girls set about LIVING the Christian faith in all parts of life.  In the same house, I had an awesome Bible study in high school.  Countless trips to school, walks around the circle, coffee dates, and other random adventures later, she's married to the man God planned for her.  One of the best parts of being neighbors is I can be at her house in around 30 seconds, which meant helping with lots of fun wedding details :)  It takes a community to throw a wedding!
So many people have come back into town that I haven't seen in years.  As some friends and I talked at the end of last night, we tried to define the strange sadness we were feeling, even in spite of such joy and happiness for our dear friend.  I don't want to grow up!  I mean, I wouldn't mind getting married if the time rolls around soon, but its strange that one of the lovely ladies who has been a part of my life since childhood is now in a new season, one that's very different from the times we had together.  Of course, I know I'll see Als again at Christmas, she's not leaving forever, she just has Chris with her now too :)  As I think back to the evening that was just about perfect, even though it rained, dancing and laughing with old friends, seeing a woman of the Lord receive everything she deserves in a husband, its one of those where the moments seem frozen in time.  Not every day of life is as happy as a wedding day, but we can strive to find joy in our everyday lives.  For one day, the seasons we are in now will be past by too.
To the sister who has always been a role model to me, thanks for the beautiful example of marrying the one who loves God and you for who He has made you to be.  Thanks for being there.  Thanks for being you.  And I hope my wedding is even half as awesome as yours :)  To God be the glory.

"As the years go by, like stones under the rushing water, we only know, we only know when its gone." -Needtobreathe

Abigail

Well, here it is already.  I leave for the airport in 2.5 hours.  Two months feels like a long time yet no time at all.  I'm excited to be home and have skim milk and real cheese and my hair straightener and my family and things like that, but I'm going to miss my Kenyan adventures as well.  I'm going to miss the feeling that everyday is an adventure.  I'm going to miss how friendly everyone is.  I'm beyond grateful for the hospitality that has been shown to me by my missionary hosts and Kenyan's patience with me not always understanding their accents.  I'll share another story from Tenwek, because it pretty well defines the characteristics of my favorite moments here.  My missionary hostess, Amy, does a lot of orphan care ministries in and around Tenwek, and we heard of a baby who's mama had passed away after her birth.  Usually, a newborn in the nursery would be fed by his or her mother, but this sadly wasn't an option, so it was suggested that I go up and feed her to help the nurses.  When Amy and I went up to check out the situation, they decided to just send the baby home with Amy to care for while the hospital tried to track down the father.  As we were preparing formula, changing, etc, Amy mentioned that the baby girl needed a name, (and that it had to be from the Bible).  Well, Esther is my favorite female figure in the Bible but it just didn't seem to fit this little girl.  I started to pray, asking God for the name He wanted her to have.  I was thinking Sarah or Abigail, and Amy said she had been thinking exactly the same thing!  While Amy went to search for a blanket, I held the tiny girl to feed her.  "Sarah?  Abigail?" I said to her.  Abigail seemed to be the choice.  As the title of my blog suggests, I have been asking God for His heart here in Kenya.  As I held this tiny newborn, I was filled with such love and joy that I cannot even explain.  My smile was as huge as my face allows, I almost thought I would cry.  It might have been my favorite moment of this trip.  I felt so much love for this little girl, starting life without her mother, her future so uncertain, I felt certain of one thing: God loves her wildly, passionately, He has a beautiful plan for her life.  Jesus says, "I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you" (John 14:18).  I don't think I can do the experience any more justice with words, other than that I saw a peak of God's heart for His people, and He loves us SO MUCH.  What a privilege that was, thank You Lord.  Little Abigail went home with her dad, and I never did get a picture of her.  I don't even know if that is her name anymore, but giving her a name for those first days of life was so cool.  I have many great friends with that same name, who I felt almost as if I was naming her after.  In light of what I saw of God's heart, I am inspired to live my life knowing that that is the love that He has for EVERY SINGLE human being, including me, including you.  My prayer, as I leave, is that I may live my life as such.