Friday, March 30, 2012

We are called

We are called.
To love.
To learn.
Not to judge.
To listen.
To serve.
To reconcile.
To redemption.
We are called.
Will you listen?

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Redemption

I just got back from a week long immersion trip to Newark, New Jersey with an awesome team of Hope students.  It went above, beyond, and deeper than any expectations that I had.  It was a LOT to process, and I'm still working through a lot of it.  Even in 24 hours back, there are things that were a lot easier to believe when I was blissfully hundreds of miles away from my real life.  This is where the challenge starts, the rubber hits the road, however you want to say it.  Will this really matter to my real life?  I say yes, but it won't be easy.  Lord give me the strength.

I think the hardest and most beautiful parts of the experience are often one in the same.  The most heart-breaking things for me were hearing other's stories, but almost all of these stories have another theme: redemption.
-The woman who will never see her children again.  This is a hard one to see a light in right now.  The woman is receiving love and care from the church community.  There are no words.  But there is hope.  There is always hope.
-Those who have lost things they valued at the sin of another.  In brokenness I see beauty and strength.  In pain I see resilience and recovery.  I see hope, forgiveness, redemption.
-A GIRL who has had MULTIPLE miscarriages before completing the eighth grade.  Though this situation is still very dark, the fact that she managed to graduate eighth grade is a huge achievement.  Lord intervene.  Redeem the evil that has been done to her.
-One of the church caretakers has a past including gang life, prison time, murder, and extensive drug use among other things.  But his smile lights up his face.  He proclaims Christ as Lord.  He has been redeemed.
-What used to be the second most dangerous housing project in the country is now abandoned in Newark.  We learned about the design flaws and system failures that caused the place to become so dangerous, and to be called irredeemable.  But now no one has to live there, and mixed income housing is going up only a block away.  Whether this concept will have the desired effects is yet to be seen, but there is hope.
-This last one is probably my favorite story to tell.  There was a woman, Kimberly, who came to the feeding ministry in the mornings two of the days that we were there.  She is in a wheelchair and because of a variety of medical conditions she is in extreme pain.  The healthcare system has failed her.  By the world's standard, she has every reason to hate her life.  However, she talked and smiled with us.  As I was coming out of the bathroom at one point, my teammate Anna was trying to wheel her in to wash her hands, but the chair wouldn't maneuver through the door.  We didn't really think about what we did, it just made sense at the time.  To God be the glory.  We got bowls of water for her hands to soak.  Anna washed, massage, lotioned her hands and clipped her nails.  It was the simplest act of a servant's heart love.  Another teammate prayed for her.  We gave her the closest thing we could to a manicure there in the church lobby with what we had lying around.  Not something any of us woke up expecting to do that day.  I give God ALL the glory.  Hebrews 13:1-2 says "Keep on loving each other as brothers.  Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by doing so some of you have entertained angels without knowing it."  I firmly believed that I was blessed to entertain an angel that day.  I am giving myself no credit, it was I who was blessed by her quiet spirit and joy amidst suffering.  One day, her pain will be redeemed.  I could write for days, but I'll close with some words from a favorite psalm, especially well loved when set to music here at home sweet Hope:

"Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy.  He who goes out weeping carrying seeds to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him." -Psalm 126:5-6.

We hold to this hope, this promise of sweet redemption in Christ.

Monday, March 5, 2012

a new peace and maybe even some redemption

I found a new peace today.  A new way to calm myself.  Those who know me will be surprised, if you go way back you might even be floored.  I ran today, and I enjoyed it.  It was me, Lecrae (Christian rapper), and the track.  I just went until I couldn't anymore, then I walked for awhile and did a couple more laps.  It felt amazing. Workouts are never regretted, that's for sure!  I'm newly committed to this, and it makes me really happy.  In the darkness of my junior high years, I would say that PE was in the worst of those memories.  I once had a teacher laugh in my face because I couldn't hit the volleyball right, and lets be real, I don't run fast or have great hand eye coordination.  This led to being last picked for teams/partners, one of the last left running the mile, the one that the opposing team got excited to see when I got up to the plate for kickball.  I hated PE.  I am perfectly competent in the water, but we didn't have a pool, so I never got to show off those talents in class.  In a time of life when I was already desperately lonely and insecure, it was an area of life where I was incapable and unwanted.  Running was a big part of PE, feeling like a cow going to slaughter as we walked up to the track, as I got lapped, and it killed any desire I had to run for fitness.  So all through high school I was resolutely a "swimmer and NOT a runner."  I love being in the water.  However, freshman fall semester I was in a class called Health Dy(namics) with an amazing prof.  We got to run around Holland in the fall weather.  Picture, cute little cottage houses framed by giant trees with leaves in every shade of fire, crunching through the leaves in golden sunlight.  I could have my ipod with me to run, and I had a friend who I paced well with so I wasn't alone.  Besides, in college everyone is more mature than junior high.  No one really cared how fast I ran, or probably more accurately, I didn't think that they did.  (Spotlight effect... gotta love being a psych major).  After that semester I ran a few times sporadically, and when I heard that there was going to be a Color Run (google it!) in Seattle right after I get home from this semester I knew I had a goal.  I'm going to run that race.  I'm going to do that.  By no means do I consider myself a "runner" but God is redeeming my hatred of running, a hatred of working out, to be for His glory.  I get in a zone with Him as I'm pounding around and around the track.  It's all for His glory.  "...let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." -Hebrews 12:1